Never Less than Stunning

Spring 2013
     Good morning lovely readers! So I've a couple thoughts to share with you on this beautiful day.  It really is fabulous. Look. 

It's sunny, it's relatively warm (for Utah winter) and I couldn't feel more refreshed.  Lately, there have been some difficult trials in my life, and that's no real excuse, but it is my reason for not blogging more.  But I'm committing to those who read this...I promise to write more.  Instead of just writing down my ideas for posts, I'll make sure I just write the post instead ;).  

      What I want to share with you today though, isn't simply a list of the reasons I'm sorry for not being a better blog queen, it's how I feel today.  As I was getting ready, I was listening to a wonderful song by Phillip Phillips.  It's called Home, and it never fails to put me a glorious mood. I tried on about 32 outfits, only managing to find a good one for my interview tomorrow. Nothing for today! So I kept trying on outfits and listening to this song over and over.  When I finally had arranging the perfect outfit, I took a look in the mirror and thought, "Okay...this is decent. WHAT?! I forgot to put on any makeup!!!" Who forgets their makeup!?! So I quickly applied all the basics and put a red flower in my hair. 

     But then something caught me...what on earth was I thinking?  Yes...my outfit is cute, and the red flower is just perfect, my hair is in the right place...but is that REALLY what makes me beautiful?  Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to call myself beautiful- but when I looked in the mirror, that's exactly how I felt.  WHY?

     That's when it hit me what was different about the picture.  I FEEL beautiful.  I feel beautiful not because of the clothes and the makeup and the flower...I feel beautiful because I am happy, and today is beautiful, and WHY ON EARTH would I feel anything less?   

     My message for you today ladies is about inner beauty.   We always talk about it, and we talk about boosting it, and appreciating it, but yet it always seems just beyond our fingertips.  I've heard the old phrase "beauty comes from within," I don't know how many times.  I've heard it so many times thought because it is ABSOLUTELY TRUE.  I recently went to an old friend's wedding reception and she looked radiant.  My roommate/ best friend leaned over and said, "She looks so beautiful.  She knows she's beautiful, and everyone else can see it. It must be how happy she is." HOW TRUE IS THAT- for ALL of us? 

      Inner beauty is that feeling of being happy, and knowing who you are.  It's recognizing the flaws and the perfections in ourselves, and loving them both.  I'm not talking appearance.  I'm speaking about the quirks to our personalities that make us individual, unique, and yes BEAUTIFUL.  When a woman, or a girl is happy with WHO she is, she honestly can't help but be stunning, and everyone around her knows it, and sees it.  

     Woman are always looking for validation.  "Does my hair look okay? Can you tell I have a huge zit?  Do these jeans make me look lumpy?"  WHY do we ask these questions?  I CHALLENGE you- Don't ask.  

KNOW how you FEEL, and OWN IT! Stop looking for validation in other places, in other people, on Pinterest for goodness sake.  Look for validation in yourself.  Be happy with the woman you see.  She may not be perfect, and she may have some truly rough things to deal with, she might not be great at crafts or math, and she may not be a size 0, but she is INCREDIBLE, and she is special.  
      The only person who needs to know that is herself, and then the rest of the world will be blinded by that happiness and light coming from her; blinded by her beauty that radiates around her.  

     I wrote on my mirror, "Never less than Absolutely Stunning," to remind myself that my beauty comes from within and when I'm happy, I will always be beautiful to others around me yes, but more importantly to myself.

 Happiness is beauty, and when I feel happy with myself, I feel beautiful.  

    So I'm asking you to go look at yourself.  Go smile in the mirror and KNOW that you are happy, amazing, and NEVER LESS THAN STUNNING.  Remind yourself of this every day.  Work on the things that you want to change, and deal with the trials that come day by day, but above all remember WHO YOU ARE, and how beautiful that woman is every single day.  

Happiness is your choice, and so is beauty.  So remember, in my eyes, and in the rest of the world's, and in yours 

You are never less than stunning. 

They Matter

     Hello everyone! I've just spent the last hour in the lovely library, typing away at my psychology paper (just kidding, I spent half an hour on Facebook and checking email ;)), and I would like to share an excerpt with you.  The paper is dedicated to detailing my career plan.  It's for my Psychology 101 (psych careers and what to do with them) class, and I feel very passionate about what I put, and I felt everyone deserved to understand my purpose!

Transitioning

      I can still remember putting on “concerts” as a little girl, for my family. My voice rang out loudly for Castle on a Cloud from Les Miserables, and How Lonely from The Seventh Brother. It seems like yesterday I looked myself in my play mirror, dressing up in my prettiest dress, and preparing to sing for my family and my beloved, and devoted stuffed animals.

     It's still my dream today to sing...but maybe not only in front of my teddy bears. My career choice is unlike anyone else's I have ever met. For me it's scary and makes me vulnerable, but I know in my heart it will be worth it. I am working on becoming a motivational singer and speaker for young girls. The reason I am studying psychology and working to earn a degree in the field is so that I can have the invaluable foundation that will come with studying the individual. I am minoring in sociology as well, to give me the group perspective, compared to the individual. I recognize the challenges that come with this decision, and have chosen to charge forward!

      For an individual headed into my field of choice, there are numerous uncertainties. That is what makes it such a risk, yet so exciting and unique at the same time. My day to day responsibilities will vary depending on where I am in my career path. Hopefully, they will eventually include songwriting, contacting speaking organizations, networking, recording, working with non-profit foundations, speaking, and working one-on-one with young girls who struggle. In a field like this though, there are many problems to tackle and try to help. I want to focus on self-esteem issues in the younger generations, suicide prevention, and helping to create positive music that uplifts and helps people touching their hearts and their souls for good.

      I have so many reasons that pull me in this direction, but the most important are my love for music and my passion for people. People never cease to amaze me; every single person you meet has an individual and an incredible story to their life. No matter what they look like to the rest of the world, they still face someone in the mirror every night who is struggling in some way, and maybe just hiding it from everyone. I am driven to know their stories, and to help them, through song and through the spoken word. I could not picture a better way to spend my life, or to use my talents I've been blessed with. Each person, and every story I come to know- change me, and help me in my endeavors to bring peace to the lives of others. Though I'll probably spend several years without a dime to my name, as the starting salary is nothing...it will be worth it to help even one individual, and know that I made a tiny difference.

      The truth is, it terrifies me to put myself out there, and know that I will be rejected by some, loved by others, and maybe never make a difference. However, the peace that comes in knowing I was given my talents and my gifts for a reason, is immeasurable. I know I can help others, and I know I have a reason to do so. So while I can still remember singing in front of my lined up baby dolls and beanie babies, with my parents on either side, I look to a future of singing, and speaking for those who have lost their way, or simply need to know that someone understands, and is willing to take the time To Tell Them They Matter.

As Individual As a Snowflake

December 2012

As Individual as a Snowflake

     Hello my lovely readers!  Today is a glorious day!! I have to admit- I've been in a bit a of a "funk" if you will, ALL week.  As you well know my mom came to visit last week, and I guess I've been singing the homesick blues since then.  

     But I'm happy to report that this morning upon waking up, I was reminded of one of the reasons I love living where I do. I woke up gently, and looked around, feeling extremely cold (my window was open).  When I eventually peeked out of the shutters- what did I find? 

*SNOW!*

 No I did not take this :) I found it on Google.

     Growing up in North Carolina, snow was not a source of inclement weather, but a treat- a reason to pull out cocoa mugs and cuddle up for the storm.  

We always got out of school (I wish this were still true now...:( ) and I would spend the day with my family and best friends gallivanting through the snow, pretending to be an Ice Princess.  

Every year I would spend the months of November through February peeking out of my blinds for snow

 hoping,

 wishing, 

 praying, 

and even pleading 

 (trying to make bargains with the Lord is not always the best route when wanting snow ;) ) 

 for just a few flakes. 

Or a Snow demon...

 Once in a while, those childhood prayers were answered and I would see the soft, white, beautiful flakes falling slowly to the ground.

     Now that I live away from home, here in Utah, I see snow more often than not in the winter.  Yet- despite how often I see the snow, I never tire of those tiny crystals hitting my "nose, and eyelashes!" So, waking up to see all of this wondrous snow- changed my tune entirely.  What I thought would be the start of a bad weekend, full of work and business, is turning into a lovely weekend with just a touch of Winter Magic.  To me those tiny flakes bring a sense of magic to the atmosphere.

Calvin and Hobbes Snow Men :)

     What is it that makes them so incredibly special and mysterious? Is it how they flutter to the ground, leaving a mark on everything that comes in their path?  Is it how they make one stop to wonder and remember life at different times?  Or is it that each one of them is unique and individual? To me it's a combination of each of these.  But what I want to focus on today is the final question.  Each snowflake is it's own.  They all have a separate pattern of beauty and flawless creation.   

      What gives me pause today is knowing that just like every single gorgeous flake that falls, every person I see, know, or simply pass as I walk through the winter wonderland is unique and different like the snowflakes.  No two people are exactly alike.  

Just as the snowflakes fall 

into swirls and pattern of light and white,

 the people we meet walk into our lives,

 and touch us with their 

individual beauty and love. 

     This morning, I spent a good chunk of the morning finishing a fabulous book by Rick Riordan, called The Mark of Athena (see my good reading section for a review).  Annabeth, one of the central characters, compares herself to other characters in the story, and asks what is special about herself.  Everyone around her seems to have a special quality, or a power that makes them almost invincible...and she wonders- what does she have?  She comes to the realization that though her powers may not manifest themselves in wondrous and bold ways for everyone to see- she is just as powerful.  I love this, because we as people learning and growing, can apply this to our own lives. 

 Never waste time comparing yourself to others,

 for while you may seeing others most glorious moments, 

we often compare those to our own downfalls.  

 In reality- we each have incredible power and wisdom, built from the years of experience 

and trial we have 

endured individually.  

We each have a purpose, and the gifts that enable us to fulfill that purpose.  Just like the snowflakes that I can see falling right now- we are all different and beautiful in an individual way. No snowflake compares itself to another...that's silly. So why would we?

     I  challenge every one of you who might read this- go out and find what makes you special if you don't already know.  Search yourself, and discover what blessings and gifts are things that you alone hold.  Whether it's a talent with beautiful music, or the ability to listen when others cannot, or the gift of making delicious bakery items...go uncover it, and appreciate it for all its worth. I've had a rough week, but with the magic I've been given this morning, I am changing my tune, and appreciating the view.  I am exploring constantly to find me, and discover what I can really do.  Most days I definitely need reminding!

So I extend that challenge to you- 

go find what makes 

as beautiful,  

as magical, 

and 

as Individual as a Snowflake. 

The girl I used to Be

     From May 2012-

 Two nights ago, I was writing in my journal.  The past few days have been pretty rough, after not getting the job I really wanted, and after not getting the boy I've currently got my heart set on.  So naturally, I was venting all of my frustrations into my trusting journal, not to mention the $100 to fix my computer.  Needless to say, I had quite a bit to vent.  Then I stopped writing about the irritations of the day, and simply reflected on something interesting that had occurred in my life.

On my way out to college- August 2011

       On Sunday, I ran into a past boy-friend, and he was exactly the same.  I got to really thinking about that moment when I saw him, and how I was able to smile and say hi, no hint of hesitation or pain in my whole being, and how he couldn't.  I realized, in that journal-writing time...I really have changed.  I'm not who I used to be, and I am entirely happy with who I am now.  

      Life is a continual progression forward.  We're always so worried about not changing too much, or holding onto past things that were perfect, but I am asking you...why? 

 We cannot move forward if we never allow ourselves to let go of the past.

 That's like tying yourself to a huge rock and then walking forward like you actually might go somewhere...that's not how it works.  

      We are supposed to change, we are supposed to progress.  And this realization hit me with so much emotion, that lo and behold a new song was born.  No- I am not who I used to be, and that is fine with me. I like the girl I see when I wake up in the morning.  I love her inside and out- no matter how much I wish was better, or what love-handles I wish didn't exist at all.  I still love that girl I see, and I am happy with the changes that have taken place in life.  

Remember the days,

 when the world was still new?

I thought magic and kings, fairies with wings,

weren't stories, but true.

Late under my sheets, 

I turned pages and pages,

convincing myself- they were real.

Years have gone by,

 the mysteries have faded 

that I used to see...

I'm not who I used to be.

(Music break)

When I was seventeen,

I believed I could change anything,

about a boy from a different land

who happened to take my hand.

But one day I realized 

It was me who was changing...

not him or his lies.

(Chorus)

I've come to know the one in the mirror,

I've seen the hopes of a fairytale dreamer,

coming to life, 

after pain, after strife

and Im finally starting to see...

I'm not who I used to be.

The chains of the past,

hold to me fast,

but I'm breaking free from their misery

I'm not the girl I used to be.

So I wait for the day, 

my prince walks my way,

straight from my dreams

into reality

and to who I'm becoming.

(Chorus)

I've come to know the one in the mirror,

I've seen the hopes of a fairytale dreamer,

coming to life, 

after pain, after strife

and Im finally starting to see...

I'm not who I used to be.

After freshman year- May 2012

Now you may not see much of a difference between these two pictures, but to me- one girl is lost, and looking for herself, and this girl...she knows who she is now.