Invisible Bridges

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I took this picture.  It was last January as my father and I drove back to Utah, across country.  I knew some pretty incredible changes were coming my way.  I had no idea the depth and the magnitude of these changes.  Life changes. 

But I love this picture.  Can I tell you why? It may be blurry, and it may not be of anything more than a bridge, but to me- it represents change. 

why?

Well...life is always moving forward, and we constantly have bridges we have to cross. 

 We have bridges we build, 

bridges we cross, 

bridges we even have to burn. 

That's part of life.  Because when you're walking a road this long- eventually you will HAVE to cross a bridge.  

I love this picture because though taken a year ago...that is where I am now.  

On the other side of a bridge. 

As of today: 
I am no longer a student at BYU. 
 I lost my job due to withdrawing. 
 I spent three days trying to actually catch up on sleep, 
and get some projects worked on. (This is code for watching chickflicks.) 
I interviewed for three jobs.
  I took one of them. 
 I am a new receptionist for PeakENT in Provo, an Ear, Nose and Throat doctor,
 and life is still wonderful. 

Sure, you might think...woah now Shan, that's a lot of changes for one girl in two weeks.  Well that my friends is true, and that is why I'm telling you I have not had any spare moments to even write in my journal, let alone a blog post.  My sincerest apologies. Really. 

But what I want to tell you today, isn't really about the results honestly...those posts will come later.  What I want to tell you about is this: The change. 

Life IS change.  Whether we like it or not, it constantly moves forward.  

We can either go with it, or be left behind to gaze as it moves on around us.  
Our purpose here is to grow, to learn, to be inspired, to feel, to think, and to change.  

If we stand in the shadows, watching the leaves change around us, waiting for the sunshine to come, or waiting for the rain to stop- we are waiting in vain- for life will not stop continually progressing forward.  That's WHY the leaves change, that is why the rain comes, and that is why we are blessed to finally see that beautiful sunshine spread across the world.  Will you stand in the shadows, or will you step out, and see what life has to offer?

I'll tell you what it has to offer.  Bridges.  As I said: some you build, some you cross, and some you even burn, but there is one kind of bridge that makes all the difference...the invisible one.  

Sure. A clip from an all-time favorite.  But what is the message here?  It's the invisible bridge.  This is a principle I have seen time and time again in my life.  I've shared this concept with others, and obviously it's not really my original idea, but it has become powerful and meaningful to me, and since it is something each person must cross, I've taken to sharing it...so why not here too?

Faith.  Faith is vital to my life, my soul, and my heart.  Faith in things to come, faith in myself, and faith that I am not the one in charge of this path called life.  

But it is faith that we must arm ourselves with when we come to this bridge.  

So what is it, I'm sure you are asking.
?

 The invisible bridge is the essence of the all moments when one must press forward without a sure footing.  It is that initial step into the void, 

into the dark abyss of the unknown.

When you're standing there, it is an absolutely terrifying moment.  What if there is no bridge?  What if you fall?  Ah...but what if there is no bridge...and what if you fly?

We will never know what the future holds for us, unless we have the courage to leave the shadows of what we already know, and step in the light of what could be. 

The choice is ours alone. 

I have come to many invisible bridges in my life, and I have always felt the guiding hand of a loving Father in Heaven who steadies me, and who will not let me fall. 

 If I step out, it matters not whether the bridge is there, whether it is made of stone, or wood, or even smoke- what matters is that I chose to continue on. 

 If there is no bridge, then He will either catch me, or mend the broken pieces from the rocks below. If there is a bridge, then He will guide me across it...but still it is I, that must have the faith to simply step. 

There is sunshine down the road.  

There is solace in these steps, that take you away from the shadows of a life half-lived.

There is hope...one must only have the courage to cross the invisible bridge, to continue on...to live. 

Do not wait to cross the bridge.  There is Someone waiting to guide you, and there is life on the other side.  Be not afraid of the journey to come, only dwelling to long on the side you already know.  

You know what is on this side...so cross.  

...I did

The Beginning

     Today marks the very first day of my brand new blog. Anyone reading this probably knows that I tried to blog before...and failed miserably. I've asked myself 100 times, why did I fail at blogging? Well, let me spell it out for you:

• Inconsistency- I only wrote when I had time, I never made time.
• Spontaneous Posting- I didn't have as much understanding of my target audience, and so I pretty much rambled and talked about whatever I liked.
• NO target audience- yes I said, "teenage girls," but that's a beyond broad topic, and we all know it
• Not enough passion- I was blogging for other people in my mind, not as much for myself

     Basically...this list could continue on and on. But here is the message: ALL OF THAT IS CHANGING. For those of you just picking up on this blog- I just got married this summer, and life is changing drastically. Not only do I have the time now to keep up with a blog, but I have the passion for myself. I realized I cannot write simply for others to read it, and sure my heart and soul were in those posts- but I have to write, and have the drive to write for myself primarily, and not just because I feel a need or duty. 

     YOU- my wonderful readers, though you may be few, are invited to read along the course of my journey. In addition to this, I now know who I am focusing on. Everyone. 

Specifically the ladies of all ages in the world, but anyone who wants to read my messages can. I'm focusing on people, ordinary lovers of life, who struggle every now and then, who have to pay the bills, who try and

 make ends meet with a smile on their face. 

I'm talking about Breaking Through The Grey

What (I'm sure you're asking) does that even mean? Why is it the title of this blog? Why am I passionate about it? 

I am convinced that in the day-to-day life, every single person faces grey moments. 

World English Dictionary

grey or gray  (ɡreɪ)
— adj
1.	of a neutral tone, intermediate between black and white, that has no hue and reflects and transmitsonly a little light
2.	greyish in colour or having parts or marks that are greyish
3.	dismal or dark, esp from lack of light; gloomy
4.	neutral or dull, esp in character or opinion Grey. I chose G-R-E-Y because gray is commonly associated with growing old, while grey can refer to the monotony of life.

So what even are these moments? I am certain that every person reading this knows EXACTLY what I am referring to. You have had them. Chances are- you're probably digging through your memory and thinking of your grey days. I certainly have them. The fascinating thing is- they are different for EVERY person. Some of you may be going through depression, some of you may have a past you don't quite know how to let go of, or deal with, some of you may have a future you are terrified of, or a bill that will not let you rest, a job that makes you stressed and unhappy. 

Grey moments are the day I woke up and felt completely alone after essentially best-friend breaking up with my now Husband. The day I realized I would never be an actress on Broadway  Just the other day when I had no motivation to go to work, to go to class, or really do anything but sleep. 

Grey is the unhappiness of life, the unfair moments, or the simple day-to-day where you feel like you aren't cutting it. Grey are the times when you don't quite seem to know the girl in the mirror anymore, or even her purpose.

I propose that "grey" days, or moments, are essential to life. They are the reminders that we are human, that sometimes we don't feel like we have the strength the keep going. 

But if we never had those moments, how would we know when to slow down, or how to appreciate the

happiest moments. 

And while they are essential...I also know how vitally important it is to move past them, to keep going in life, to get yourself out from under the endless cycle of dissatisfaction with life- to Break Through the Grey. 

I challenge you, and myself as I begin this blog to find the moments in life that are grey, and to first, recognize them for what they are and what they teach you, and then to break through them. 

This blog consists of my thoughts, my ideals, my ways of breaking through the grey. My music, and pictures, my perspective on life. I write about things that make me happy, realizations that life is the best gift and blessing I could have ever been given. I am writing about my 20 & married life, and the things that make a difference on my grey days. 

Most of all, I write because I struggle too, and this is how I break through the grey. 

You know- maybe not every post will hit home with you, but maybe one will. So stick around- add your email to the list, and let me try and help you break through. 

THE DAY is cold, and dark, and dreary;
It rains, and the wind is never weary;
The vine still clings to the mouldering wall,
But at every gust the dead leaves fall,
And the day is dark and dreary.
My life is cold, and dark, and dreary;
It rains, and the wind is never weary;
My thoughts still cling to the mouldering Past,
But the hopes of youth fall thick in the blast,
And the days are dark and dreary.
Be still, sad heart! and cease repining;
Behind the clouds is the sun still shining;
Thy fate is the common fate of all,
Into each life some rain must fall,
Some days must be dark and dreary.

                                                                                                              -Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

My message today is that you can break through it. I challenge you to start thinking of HOW, and tell me. Make comments, send me a message. I'll feature them on my next post.

Life is worth living, and thriving, not just surviving. Break through the Grey. Happy Monday, and welcome to the beginning of something new. 

Ladies and Gentlemen

Spring 2013

  "Well isn't today just beautiful?!" I couldn't help but asking myself as I walked to work this morning.  The sun is out (I think you'll notice a common trend that I happen to love it when the sun is out.), the trees are green, there's no snow, and it is just radiant outside today!  (Seriously. I forgot my sunglasses, and my eyes are secretly hating me for it.)  Today, my message for you is about not just love, but about life.  What exactly though?  (I know...ALL of my messages are about the same kind of thing ;) )  

Today I want to address the idea of being 

ladies and gentlemen.  

What does this even mean in our culture today?  Now think about that question for a minute.  Were you raised to be a lady or a gentleman?  I'm talking to you ladies out there, and asking...how do you think of yourself?  How do you think of the men in your life?  In our world today, there is evidence on top of evidence suggesting the loss of this concept.  Take a look at the article excerpt from Leonard Sax's "Ladies and Gentlemen, Skanks and Pimps."  (I'm sorry for those words...but it is the article title.)

     "The New York Times recently published a column by Lynn Messina, a regular contributor, in which she complained about her preschool teaching her 4-year-old son something about what it means to be a gentleman. Ms. Messina was upset that her preschool would dare to use the word “gentleman.” In Ms. Messina’s opinion, teaching girls and boys to be Ladies and Gentlemen is a “first lesson in sexism.” She admits that when she shares her concern with other parents, not all agree. “What’s the harm in teaching little boys to respect little girls?” they ask. I would ask the same question. If you fail to teach little boys to respect little girls, some years later you are likely to have teenage boys who do not respect teenage girls."

Read the FULL ARTICLE

    Apparently, we shouldn't even be teaching children about ladies and gentlemen! Let me ask, what happened to this ideal that used to be such a part of our society?  I was so saddened as I read this full article, that I made up my mind to write a post about it.  

     I was raised in a very traditional, religious, southern family.  That being said, I love everyone I meet, and I was also raised to never hold prejudices against ANYONE, regardless of color, sexual orientation, background, or political party. I want to make it plain though, that while I will never discriminate against those of homosexual orientation, I do not agree with, nor will ever support homosexuality.  I have had many friends who are gay or lesbian, and I have never loved them any less. I would like for you to bear this in mind, as I discuss my views on this Ladies and Gentlemen issue, since I will only refer to love and marriage in a traditional sense.  If that offends you, I am very sorry that it does, and I hope you will continue to read other blog posts that don't.  It is not my intention to offend, but I want it clear where I stand.  

     Growing up, my mother relentlessly enforced the ideals of being a "little lady," and "would a princess act that way?"  I can remember kicking my childhood best friend Christopher Stewart in his "man parts", and my mother about lost her marbles.  In addition to that, I was always splashing in the creek, coming home mud-streaked, and saying whatever was on my mind.  After each of these episodes (nearly every day) my mom would sit down with me, and discuss the importance of acting like a lady, and emphasizing that I could still have fun, but I needed to do it in the right time and place, and respect other ladies and gentlemen. 

     My mother taught me to say kind things, help others in need, and dress in an appropriate manner.  She taught me how to have tact, and hold my head up high, no matter how someone's biting words hurt. She taught me how to keep my composure, and how to act like a LADY. I have carried these principles with me as I have grown, and work to show others that today, I am the LADY she wanted me to be. Do you act like a lady?  

It's not just about femininity, it's about 
professionalism, tact and composure. 

     Now, with all of that in mind...now let me ask you my REAL question- do you LOOK for a GENTLEMAN?  If you already have a sweetheart, do you TREAT him like a GENTLEMAN?  This is our job as women.  We act like ladies, they treat us like ladies.  We find a gentleman, and we treat him as such.  How should a gentleman be treated though?  I'm not talking about doing the "make-me-a-sandwich" kind of things. Here's a list of questions to ask yourself, because as a LADY, it is my responsibility to treat my gentleman as such, and it's yours too.

1. Do you treat him with the same respect you would your father?
2. Do you allow him to act as a gentlemen?
     *Letting him open the door for you
     *Letting him pay
     *Letting him pull out your chair
3. Do you LET him protect you from harm?
4. Do you let him compliment you?
5. Do you try to "out-do" him? Stop.
6. Do you let him take care of you when you're sick or hurt?
7. Do you take his arm, and allow him to take the lead? (Not just in dancing)
8. Do you let him surprise you?
9. Do you make him feel love in return?
10. Do you THANK HIM FOR EVERYTHING HE DOES?

     If we fail to do these things as women, 

men will fail to treat us this way.  

Every girl wants to be treated like a lady, but we have to let our men do so.  There is nothing wrong with being a strong, independent woman, but if a man never feels as though he can be the gentleman, and take care of you, then why will he continue to try? A major portion of being a lady is allowing gentlemen to act AS GENTLEMEN.  I've seen dozens of Facebook statues, and Pinterest quotes, and news articles asking the SAME QUESTION: "What happened to good old fashioned gentlemen?"  Well women...I fear we have driven them away and forgotten their importance to us.  

    I challenge you (I will always have a challenge for you), be a lady, and allow your man to be a gentle one.  Let him do these things for you, and then allow him to feel loved in return. Do things for him, surprise him, THANK HIM, and most of all, let him know how loved he is.  

    Ask yourself if you act like a lady, with tact, composure, compassion and professionalism?  You don't have to sacrifice independence and originality for these things. In no way am I suggesting that we put back on 50 layers of skirts, and give up the right to vote. But I am telling you, it's OKAY to be a LADY.  It's about being respectful and respected in return; respected by the men we want to be GENTLEMEN.

      I know I can be better at being a lady, and letting Eric always be the gentleman.  He gets on me for it all the time!!  We can all be better.  So how will it be for you?  I'm holding myself accountable here.  I want to make sure that I can answer all of my own questions appropriately. 

    Think about it. Read up more on it if you want, and finish that article I posted.  Decide what is of value to you, and what isn't.  Most of all...be a lady, and let him be a gentleman. 

Never Less than Stunning

Spring 2013
     Good morning lovely readers! So I've a couple thoughts to share with you on this beautiful day.  It really is fabulous. Look. 

It's sunny, it's relatively warm (for Utah winter) and I couldn't feel more refreshed.  Lately, there have been some difficult trials in my life, and that's no real excuse, but it is my reason for not blogging more.  But I'm committing to those who read this...I promise to write more.  Instead of just writing down my ideas for posts, I'll make sure I just write the post instead ;).  

      What I want to share with you today though, isn't simply a list of the reasons I'm sorry for not being a better blog queen, it's how I feel today.  As I was getting ready, I was listening to a wonderful song by Phillip Phillips.  It's called Home, and it never fails to put me a glorious mood. I tried on about 32 outfits, only managing to find a good one for my interview tomorrow. Nothing for today! So I kept trying on outfits and listening to this song over and over.  When I finally had arranging the perfect outfit, I took a look in the mirror and thought, "Okay...this is decent. WHAT?! I forgot to put on any makeup!!!" Who forgets their makeup!?! So I quickly applied all the basics and put a red flower in my hair. 

     But then something caught me...what on earth was I thinking?  Yes...my outfit is cute, and the red flower is just perfect, my hair is in the right place...but is that REALLY what makes me beautiful?  Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to call myself beautiful- but when I looked in the mirror, that's exactly how I felt.  WHY?

     That's when it hit me what was different about the picture.  I FEEL beautiful.  I feel beautiful not because of the clothes and the makeup and the flower...I feel beautiful because I am happy, and today is beautiful, and WHY ON EARTH would I feel anything less?   

     My message for you today ladies is about inner beauty.   We always talk about it, and we talk about boosting it, and appreciating it, but yet it always seems just beyond our fingertips.  I've heard the old phrase "beauty comes from within," I don't know how many times.  I've heard it so many times thought because it is ABSOLUTELY TRUE.  I recently went to an old friend's wedding reception and she looked radiant.  My roommate/ best friend leaned over and said, "She looks so beautiful.  She knows she's beautiful, and everyone else can see it. It must be how happy she is." HOW TRUE IS THAT- for ALL of us? 

      Inner beauty is that feeling of being happy, and knowing who you are.  It's recognizing the flaws and the perfections in ourselves, and loving them both.  I'm not talking appearance.  I'm speaking about the quirks to our personalities that make us individual, unique, and yes BEAUTIFUL.  When a woman, or a girl is happy with WHO she is, she honestly can't help but be stunning, and everyone around her knows it, and sees it.  

     Woman are always looking for validation.  "Does my hair look okay? Can you tell I have a huge zit?  Do these jeans make me look lumpy?"  WHY do we ask these questions?  I CHALLENGE you- Don't ask.  

KNOW how you FEEL, and OWN IT! Stop looking for validation in other places, in other people, on Pinterest for goodness sake.  Look for validation in yourself.  Be happy with the woman you see.  She may not be perfect, and she may have some truly rough things to deal with, she might not be great at crafts or math, and she may not be a size 0, but she is INCREDIBLE, and she is special.  
      The only person who needs to know that is herself, and then the rest of the world will be blinded by that happiness and light coming from her; blinded by her beauty that radiates around her.  

     I wrote on my mirror, "Never less than Absolutely Stunning," to remind myself that my beauty comes from within and when I'm happy, I will always be beautiful to others around me yes, but more importantly to myself.

 Happiness is beauty, and when I feel happy with myself, I feel beautiful.  

    So I'm asking you to go look at yourself.  Go smile in the mirror and KNOW that you are happy, amazing, and NEVER LESS THAN STUNNING.  Remind yourself of this every day.  Work on the things that you want to change, and deal with the trials that come day by day, but above all remember WHO YOU ARE, and how beautiful that woman is every single day.  

Happiness is your choice, and so is beauty.  So remember, in my eyes, and in the rest of the world's, and in yours 

You are never less than stunning.