Lost and Found

What happens when you're lost...you can't read maps...

you have no phone, and it's about to absolutely pour?

     So last week I took a two-day trip to the beach with my almost-cousins.  It was an absolute blast.  We spent the whole first day at the beach with the sun and weather perfectly meant for us.  Imagine 82 degrees on the South Carolina coast, with just enough cloud cover to keep you from burning, but enough sun to warm up every part of you.  The waves were big and great for bodysurfing. It was absolutely beautiful...until it destroyed my phone. 

     I realize the depth of my stupidity at taking my phone out of my car and onto the gorgeous beach. However, in my defense, my mother HAD asked me to keep my phone with me in case she needed me.  You see, I was set to move 4 days later, and we were finishing up details for my trip.  Moving on, I was splashing and swimming about, enjoying myself like it was 1999 again when I wore my Little Mermaid swimming suit with pride.  My cousins and I were having the most epic wave rides ever as well.  Unfortunately, when I came out of the water for a moment of peace, my sort-of-aunt informed me that one single rogue wave had plunged across my things out of NOWHERE, and savagely attacked my phone in the process.  My heart fell as I ran up the embankment (yes- that's ALL THE WAY UP THE EMBANKMENT) and my eyes found my poor soggy phone.  

      We tried SO hard- really we did. We prayed, played, reset, banged, and roasted my phone in all ways possible to save it from it's saltwater disaster, but it was all to no avail. So I sadly let it give up it's tiny electronic ghost and enjoyed the rest of my vacation.  So I know this seems like such a funny little story with no real meaning or importance other than a $160 insurance bill, but that's because I've yet to explain the damage that this really caused.  

      Sure it was frustrating, but let me tell you, what really was hard, was driving home the next day. 

No mymap.

 No phone calls to Mom and Dad.  

No help.

  No memory. 

 Nothing. 

Nothing but me and the map book my dad made me bring...that I didn't know how to read. 

     I fully recognize that this might seem funny...now, but let me ASSURE you- at the moment it was ANYTHING BUT. I can honestly say that even though looking back on it, it was the most humorous situations I could have been in, it was also one of the most faith-building.  Now I don't know how many of our readers are church-goers of any kind.  Rest-easy that we love and appreciate every single person, regardless of their individual beliefs, and if you feel at all that this part about my faith could be offensive, you are more than welcome not to read it.  But alas, it is who I am, and I cannot and will not change that- even for just a blog post.  I share because it taught me something important, not because I believe in the power of brain washing.  ;) 

      As I set off driving down the maze of highways and backroads that would lead me on a 5-hour (supposedly 3.5 hrs to begin with) I couldn't have been more worried.  I kind of giggled to myself as I filled up my gas tank at a nearby station at my predicament, but the seriousness of actions, and the reality of the consequences hit me as I realized I had NO clue how to get home.  Quietly, humbly, and trying to keep calm, I turned off the radio, and asked my Father in Heaven to direct my turns and lead me to home.  I promised Him sincerely that if He told me where to turn, I would turn, even if it required going back and forth until I had found the right path.  I set out more carefully after that, turning back on the radio for something to keep me awake. 

     The next few hours were filled with driving cautiously along until something would spark my memory and a sure knowing that I should take that turn, or that merge, or that off-road.  Small signs like ugly Lion statues in front of an old house, or a really disgusting Billboard poster, are what triggered these redirections of my path.  After about two and a half hours, a monstrous storm set in above me.  Remember this is in North Carolina now, and when we have a tropical storm off the coast, the weather can be downright hideous. The rain was crashing down with such force, I could barely see the road around me. Several times I contemplated stopping and allowing the storm to pass.  After all- I had no possible way of communicating with my parents if I ran off the road or had any kind of accident, and I was making my way home turn by turn.  I simply slowed down and allowed the storm to pass a little slower.  

    I cannot describe to you the rush of relief that came to me when I pulled in my driveway; the comfort at knowing I was Home.  

     All I could do was say thank you to a dear Heavenly Father who had seen me safely home, every single step of the way- giving me guidance and instruction, inspiration and confidence.  Now I come to understand that power that this small and somewhat entertaining circumstance has as an example in my life. How many times has He taken me by the hand, turn by turn, to let me walk by faith, and return to my Heavenly Home?  How many times has He blessed me with Tiny signs and precious miracles to guide me?  How many times has He comforted me while the storms of life raged around me, battering me with their winds, and their torments?  And how many times are there yet to come when He will whisper the directions to me, and allow me correct my course, should I stray?  Every time I had to turn my car around was another time in life when He lets me repent, and forgive me.

      The most beautiful part to me- is knowing that I will one day be able to return Home. It won't be pulling in the driveway, and just happy to see my house, it will be an all-encompassing peace that brings me to my Eternal home, with my Heavenly Father, and my eternal family.  

     I may have destroyed my phone, and put myself into this predicament, but what a blessing in my faith it was- showing me in small ways that He is ever present in my life, and I CAN return home, no matter how Lost, no matter the storms, and no matter the decisions that turned into mistakes. 

I am so grateful for the blessing of being able to return home someday, and the knowledge that I will never have to be Lost; that I can make it step by step, 

and Turn by Turn. 

The girl I used to Be

     From May 2012-

 Two nights ago, I was writing in my journal.  The past few days have been pretty rough, after not getting the job I really wanted, and after not getting the boy I've currently got my heart set on.  So naturally, I was venting all of my frustrations into my trusting journal, not to mention the $100 to fix my computer.  Needless to say, I had quite a bit to vent.  Then I stopped writing about the irritations of the day, and simply reflected on something interesting that had occurred in my life.

On my way out to college- August 2011

       On Sunday, I ran into a past boy-friend, and he was exactly the same.  I got to really thinking about that moment when I saw him, and how I was able to smile and say hi, no hint of hesitation or pain in my whole being, and how he couldn't.  I realized, in that journal-writing time...I really have changed.  I'm not who I used to be, and I am entirely happy with who I am now.  

      Life is a continual progression forward.  We're always so worried about not changing too much, or holding onto past things that were perfect, but I am asking you...why? 

 We cannot move forward if we never allow ourselves to let go of the past.

 That's like tying yourself to a huge rock and then walking forward like you actually might go somewhere...that's not how it works.  

      We are supposed to change, we are supposed to progress.  And this realization hit me with so much emotion, that lo and behold a new song was born.  No- I am not who I used to be, and that is fine with me. I like the girl I see when I wake up in the morning.  I love her inside and out- no matter how much I wish was better, or what love-handles I wish didn't exist at all.  I still love that girl I see, and I am happy with the changes that have taken place in life.  

Remember the days,

 when the world was still new?

I thought magic and kings, fairies with wings,

weren't stories, but true.

Late under my sheets, 

I turned pages and pages,

convincing myself- they were real.

Years have gone by,

 the mysteries have faded 

that I used to see...

I'm not who I used to be.

(Music break)

When I was seventeen,

I believed I could change anything,

about a boy from a different land

who happened to take my hand.

But one day I realized 

It was me who was changing...

not him or his lies.

(Chorus)

I've come to know the one in the mirror,

I've seen the hopes of a fairytale dreamer,

coming to life, 

after pain, after strife

and Im finally starting to see...

I'm not who I used to be.

The chains of the past,

hold to me fast,

but I'm breaking free from their misery

I'm not the girl I used to be.

So I wait for the day, 

my prince walks my way,

straight from my dreams

into reality

and to who I'm becoming.

(Chorus)

I've come to know the one in the mirror,

I've seen the hopes of a fairytale dreamer,

coming to life, 

after pain, after strife

and Im finally starting to see...

I'm not who I used to be.

After freshman year- May 2012

Now you may not see much of a difference between these two pictures, but to me- one girl is lost, and looking for herself, and this girl...she knows who she is now. 

Are you Listening or Hearing?

What would it be like to never hear another song? Never be able to hear your grandchildren one day tell you that they love you?  What if you could never hear the whispers of "You're beautiful," from the man who will one day sweep you off your feet?  

    I know that these aren't exactly positive questions- but it's something we should all consider.  As a younger generation, we plug into our Ipods nearly every day and tune out the rest of the world.  Sometimes it seems like youth feel it is so important to drown out the rest of the world and just focus on their own thoughts and feelings.  WHY?  What is the point? Tuning out the rest of the world just cuts you off from the important things you might hear, or the things that might just mean the most to you...but how would you know if you're never listening?  

     Today I am in Massachusetts with my brother and his new wife, and I got the chance to attend their church meetings with them.  While I was sitting their in the main service (called Sacrament meeting in the LDS church) I noticed that there was an interpreter at the front of the congregation.  I became extremely excited and started paying attention immediately.  This year at school, I selected my language course for BYU.  I chose to study ASL, and it has been an incredible blessing in my life already. So of course, I was all but ecstatic to watch an interpreter during church.  After a few minutes, she noticed me watching and gave me a questioning glance.  I quickly signed to her while she wasn't interpreting that I'm a student of sign at BYU.  She then invited me to help her.  Now- I have never interpreted before, and can I just say- it was SO hard?  But the thing was...I realized while I was sitting there struggling to relay the speaker's story about her childhood, how incredibly important it is to appreciate our senses.  What if we lost them?  The Deaf Community does not view being deaf as any kind of an impairment and I think that is a beautiful thing...but having lived life with hearing thus far- where would I be if I lost it?  

      So now I'm asking you- are you only hearing the things around you, or are you actually listening?  So many kids hear what their parents tell them, but they don't truly listen to them.  And what about when someone is asking for help...even if they don't just come right out and say it?  If you're not listening but only hearing, what will happen to those people?  I am trained to listen for cries of help or distress, between the lines of casual conversation, and if I am not paying attention...what kind of an affect will I NOT have on people's lives?  

      As young women, we should be appreciating everything we have been given, and that includes things that we might often take for granted, like the simple ability to hear the raindrops falling on our windowpane during a summer storm, or the cry of that new born baby, or the crickets on a spring night.  How often do you value the priceless gift of hearing your parents tell you they love you?  Not enough.  I am guilty of this too, and I am challenging myself to truly appreciate the gift of being able to hear, listen, and all other senses or blessing I take for granted. I challenge you to do the same.  Just like those wonderful people I met today who were deaf, and cannot hear their children laugh appreciate the smiles they can see...I want to always remain grateful for everything I have been given.  

    Take the earbuds out...stop ignoring the hidden messages in other's simple words, and start listening to the simple messages of love and beauty in every part of the world. Stop just hearing...but learn to listen, and be grateful every single day for that chance.  

Happily Ever After..The choice

Unlike Snow White's kiss, or Cinderella's Midnight Ball, "Happily Ever After" is not something that just HAPPENS to you.  YOU have to CHOOSE it every single day.  Obviously its in the big choices, like

Where do I go to college?

What will I do with my life?

Will I choose to sleep with my boyfriend or will I choose to wait for marriage?

Will I choose to smoke/drink/do drugs?

Will I choose to love myself for who I am?

But its also in the little choices that you make every single day. The ones that don't seem like that big of a deal all alone, but add up to make you the person that you are.

What do I do with my time?

Do I speak kindly to others?

Do I have a good attitude?

Do I turn in my homework and try for good grades?

Do I make an effort to get up on time?

Do I lie, even on the little things?

Do I respect my parents?

Do I obey the rules?

Do I try to look nice and take care with my appearance?

Who am I dressing for, myself or others?

Am I the kind of person that makes others feel good about themselves?

Do I set goals and work hard to achieve them?

Do I eat healthy?

Am I a good friend?

 Do I gossip?

Etc.

As you grow, your situation and your choices will change, but the message is the same.  Each day, you have decisions to make- some you will think about and others you might not even realize are choices.  But it all adds up to determine your level of happiness.  You can't choose the bad things and not have them affect your life now AND in the future.  We all know girls that seemed to have the perfect life and ended up pregnant, right?  Girls, pregnancy is not something that just happens to you.  It is the result of a choice.  And the effects of that choice are life changing, not just for the girl, but for her family and ultimately for her child.  However, even small bad choices can have life changing effects, like a small lie that gets bigger and bigger and eventually smothers you.  One of my favorite authors said

"The sordid things in life

 leave you with nothing but 

tarnished memories" 

(Emilie Loring)

Make the good choices girls, decide what "Happily Ever After" means for YOU.  Maybe that's the perfect job, a college degree, or a home and family.  Whatever your happily ever after is- CHOOSE IT NOW.  And keep making the choices that will get you there every day.  

Keep in mind that it doesn't happen all at once- not like in the stories- but gradually as you choose to live a good life you will come to realize that your life IS your Happily Ever After.

-Aleesha

Barbies Vs. G.I. Joe

Barbies Verses G.I. Joe

Do you ever wonder if you are ever going to figure out that mystery they call the opposite sex?

Have you just given up on ever having a successful relationship with one of “them”?

Whether you are dealing with a good friend or a romantic interest, the key to better communication revolves around recognizing and appreciating your differences. And how to use them to your advantage!

SO Read on, Relax, and start talking on the same LEVEL!

*Disclaimer- Obviously the following is a generalization!  Every person is a unique individual, and you should spend every day of a relationship getting to really know that person on an individual basis, but this is a good place to start.

Basic Differences Between Guys and Girls

GIRLS

-Very Verbal, Talk about Everything, solve problems by talking them out. Want to know whats wrong—Listen to understand, and to empathize. Good to talk to because they make you feel like they really care about your problem

-Emotional, Don’t like to be teased as much, take everything to heart, and everything is an insult. Much more sensitive about appearance, and others perception of them

-Natural Mothers…-Gentle, kind, caring,

-“Feelers”—Both physically and emotionally.

-Need Little reassurances of affection—Love surprises, and random expressions of appreciation

-Need Respect and Romance

-Read in between the lines and TALK IN RIDDLES!!! And expect guys to understand- (they don’t!)

-Build Castles in the Sky about everything- (DREAMERS)

-Like to talk about everything that happens in a relationship- Want to go over every detail over and over

-Very "Touchy" put their hands on a guys arm, or play with his hair, etc. Its natural for girls and they may not realize how it affects a guy.

-Girls like holding hands, and to have a guys arm around their shoulders or their waist.

- Like to feel protected and safe--

-Likes SECURITY~

-Feelings change fast and often, easily become mistrustful--

-Believe that if something is good, there is always a way to make it better—Never satisfied with mediocrity. A favorite phrase is...“can we move to the next level in our relationship”- or feeling the need to “define the relationship”

-Often hold a grudge, can’t forget a fight – Bring it up over and over..

-Want Empathy from guys

-Motivated when they feel cherished.

-Need someone to talk to when they are upset

GUYS

-Better problem solvers; Think things out logically- Want explanations. Often when thinking they retreat into themselves, and don’t have any desire for conversation.

-Thinkers and Do-ers

-Not very verbal…enjoy talking, but not about everything. Enjoy downtime- and just NOT thinking for awhile (girls can NOT get this!)

-Listen to SOLVE problems, listen for the why, when and how

- Focus more on Facts instead of feelings!

-Natural Fathers…desire leadership, power, independence

–Often don’t know limits when teasing

-More easygoing, take things for what they are, don’t read into every thing

-BLUNT, pretty much tell it like it is

-Don’t know how to read between the lines (or even that they are expected to), so they often misunderstand girl’s intentions!

-Don’t understand that girls read so much into their words.

-Say whats on their mind without thinking first

-Need acceptance

-Need to feel like they are NEEDED, don’t like to feel expendable.

-Like to feel like they are pleasing others

-Guys are affected strongly by physical touch, they notice every touch you bestow- even if they aren't listening to what you say  

–Have a natural instinct for protection, often feel that they have to prove their Manhood- they don’t want to feel like a girl has to do something for them...or stand up for them

-Believe in the theory that “if it ain’t broke- then don’t fix it!” (especially in relationships)

-Forgive more easily…move on and forget past problems. Don’t usually hold grudges

-Have a hard time just listening…They think girls want solutions…try to solve their problems for them…and just cause more

-Need to be alone when they are upset

-Aleesha

In the Looking Glass

I got up the other morning and stood in front of the bathroom mirror getting ready for the day, and as usual I found myself staring at my imperfections and focusing in on them one by one- wishing I had a smaller nose, bigger eyes, tighter abs, larger chest, etc...etc. 

 I looked down to see my little girl, 3 years old standing beside me mimicking my every move.  

Pinching her face up and staring at herself in the mirror critically, she looked just like me. 

 Normally my little one will twirl and prance in front of the mirror, very clearly admiring herself, but not today, today she was copying me.  It kind of hit me in the face that this is a lot of what is wrong with our ideas about ourselves as girls today.  When we are young, we believe truly, that we are beautiful.  As we grow and watch those around us, we start to pick out what we believe are our imperfections and the more we stare at them the less we like what we see.  Shouldn't we instead, stand back and assume that youthful innocence and believe we are beautiful, for who we are? 

It is my intention to help you recognize the beauty in the looking glass, and to help you step back into that 3 year old mindset that we had before the world told us we needed to be 5'10'' and 110 lbs, with a large chest and perfect features.  Love yourself, swirl in front of the mirror and remember you are beautiful.

-Aleesha